Sep 18th, 2014

Do you have any idea what it feels like to hate a sibling? To have so much hatred and resentment built up towards a person that you’re supposed to love? And even worse do you know what it’s like to not care? To not care if you ever have a relationship with a person that you’re supposed to love? This relationship will most likely never be salvaged and I don’t even feel sad that it won’t. I feel sadness towards the people who caused the problem because they are the ones who instigated it from the beginning. Aren’t parents supposed to push their children to be better people? To dream big? Why would anyone allow for a child to be so completely irresponsible, unmotivated, manipulative and deceitful? How does it feel to know that you’ve raised a person who only cares about herself? Even worse how does it feel to know that someone is disappointed in you? The worst feeling I’ve ever felt is knowing that my parents were disappointed in my actions. Do they have any kind of grasp in how much disappointment I feel towards them? Do they know that part of my decision regarding marriage is that I never want to have to fight with someone on how to raise a child? That if I ever have a child that I’ll never want more than one? The thought of bringing someone into this world that could grow to feel the same resentment and hate I feel towards my sibling is something that is cruel. I can’t stand the thought of knowing that someone else could feel this was and feel guilty about it, but not because they feel sad about the way they feel, but because they know that no one will understand. I’m being pushed away further every day and with every day my hatred and resentment grows and at this point, I don’t even care.

Sep 14th, 2014
"A girlfriend is a potential wife, if you ask me. Relationships are investments not hobbies. You all got to grow up."
— (via a-gentleman-thoughts)

(Source: kushandwizdom, via recklesstenderness)

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